Individual and Relational Practice
A Different Kind of Attention
Some conversations are mostly about understanding. Others slowly become about something else.
We meet for an hour, most often every week or two, and talk.
The conversation has a particular quality. It keeps returning to what’s happening in you while we speak – the reaction you just noticed, the part of you that wants to move on quickly, the thing you already half-know and haven’t put into words. Much of the work is slowing down enough to notice these and stay with them a little longer than usual. Over time this changes your relationship to them. Some part of you that has been bracing for years gets to relax a little. Something you’d treated as simply “how I am” turns out to have a history, and some room to move.
People usually arrive with something that isn’t a crisis and won’t quite resolve. A pattern that repeats across their relationships or their work. A success that hasn’t felt the way it was meant to. A decision they keep circling. A grief that’s gone quiet without finishing. Often there’s no single problem to name – just a wish to see what is happening with more clarity and more room to move.
I lean on a few ways of understanding people that I keep coming back to. One is that we’re made of many parts — the one that pushes, the one that protects, the one that got left somewhere behind — and that most of our difficulty is these working at cross purposes rather than anything being broken. Another is that, sometimes what’s difficult to say between us becomes part of the work too.
They’re closer to a way of paying attention than a method to follow.
The practical
- Format
- Online, by video, from wherever you are.
- In-person
- By arrangement, in Southern Spain.
- Languages
- English and Swedish.
- Session
- One hour · €105 · Joint sessions arranged separately.
- Background
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Advanced IFS-informed training through IFSCA, Canada.
Relational and somatically informed practice.
MSc Psychology, Arden University — dissertation stage.
Additional training in Gottman Method, Levels 1 and 2.
Ongoing consultation and continued training.
The way in is a conversation
A short one – free, no expectation on either side – so we can both get a feel for whether to carry on.
If you’d rather explore
You Know What You Do. You Do It Anyway.
You hear yourself speak before you’ve quite decided to, saying something sharper than you meant to someone who matters. The understanding was already there while it was happening, but it didn’t stop the words from arriving.
Before Anything Happens, You Adjust
Nothing has happened yet. There has been no argument and no raised voice. Still, you’re already adjusting, listening for what might shift, tighten, or turn before anything is said.
The Voice You Mistook for Yourself
A list has started in the quiet: what you could have said better, and how you handled the difficult exchange. It doesn’t feel like self-criticism. It feels like you thinking clearly about what needs to improve. What if it isn’t?
It Hasn't Started Yet.
At some point, your sentences become more precise and less capable of reaching each other. You’re both still talking, but something keeps slipping. The argument continues while, underneath it, the conversation that matters has not yet started.